The Impossibility of Relationship

was so good that threw me for a loop um okay I'm back in as you're turning there I want to give you guys some statistics um on on relationships we we're going to talk about marriage and divorce but we're also not going to talk about it and so I'll explain what I mean by that in a minute but what is in Decline when it comes to relationships in 1949 some 75 years ago 79% of households consisted of married couples well today that percentage is down to 48% of households are considered married couples in 1956 the average age for men and women to get married was

21 years old today the average age is 29 years old what is increasing in 1950 4% of the adult population lived alone over the course of 70 years that number has more than tripled to 15% of adults now live alone 28% of all households are represented by men and women who live alone so literally a fourth of the households now are considered alone where married households are decreasing by more than 60% cohabitation is increasing to 25% of adults between the ages of 25 to 34 are living with an unmarried partner in 1950 20% % of marriages ended in divorce that number has tripled over the

last 70 years with nearly 60% of marriages today ending in divorce now those are just some statistics out there what um I'm not saying that you should get married at the age of 21 um I'm also not saying that it's better to wait until you're in your 30s to get married uh in addition I'm also not saying that living alone is wrong or that simply getting married is better when look at the statistics you might be thinking in all reality you're kind of damned if you do or damned if you don't um when it looks like this the reason for the statistics is just to

show you General trends that reveal really underlying issues that we have the value of marriage is decreasing the desire for marriage is decreasing the desire for Independence is increasing and the ease of ending relationships is also increasing now for what reasons are people getting divorced we got did some study and looked at some different resources and I want to ask you a question what would you say is the number one reason why people are getting divorced you can talk back to me on this one money happiness okay um the number one reason 75% of marriages end is due to Simply a lack of commitment that's

the top reason the second one at 60% is uh they end due to infidelity at 58% just under that is due to too much conflict in arguing and then the rest of them that fall under 50% range include things like finances addictions abuse extended family sickness religion and last on the list which I just thought was funny um is no education regarding what marriage was so like I didn't know what I was signing up for when I got into this but think about those examples two of the top three reasons the reasons for three out of four divorces is because they simply don't want to

commit anymore they don't want to commit anymore or in other words marriage is just too hard too much arguing and too much conflict and what I want to show you today which again is going to be an odd combination of multiple passages back to back is what it takes in order to have a healthy marriage and healthy relationships across the board that's what I want to show us today so we we are going to talk about marriage and divorce without explicitly talking about marriage and divorce but rather what we're going to do is look at the principles that Jesus teaches us that lead to healthy

marriages that avoid divorce that leads to also healthy relationships that don't fall apart so this isn't just in the marriage and divorce category this is for relationships all across the board and before I walk through this I also want to throw this out there as just a preface our God is gracious our God is gracious like there's not a person in this room who has not been affected by or in one way or another marriages that ended in divorce or friendships that ended due to hurt or irreconcilable differences and at the end of the day we have all done things that have hurt others and

likewise we have been hurt by others some to the extent of divorce and severed relationships maybe others only to the extent of someone telling you your breath stinks or um maybe just not liking something that you said and if that's the worst that you've experienced in relationships then you've actually lived a Wonderful Life up to this point wonderful but there is nothing that you've done to others or others have done to you that is more powerful than the forgiving work of the Gospel nothing nothing is beyond his Saving Grace and forgiveness nothing is beyond his ability to reconcile broken and hurt relationships and so I

just want to say that out of the gate as we kind of walk through this because if it was while we I mean what is the gospel if it was while we were still Sinners and enemies of God that God demonstrated his love for us and saving us and forgiving us if it was while we were dead in our transgressions again against God that God made us alive together in Christ then there is nothing on Earth in the form of Human Relationships that cannot be forgiven healed and reconciled in other words if God can reconcile Sinners into a relationship with a holy and perfect God

which is really an impossible task unless God does it then God can reconcile sinners in relationship with other Sinners that's the easy work for him and that's the truth for us today what you actually see and this is again spoiling the point for you when you reconcile your relationship with God through the work of the Gospel then as a byproduct our Earthly human relation relationships also begin reconciling with one another because the one who understands how much they've been forgiven is also forgiven much and is able to forgive much when it comes to others so here's what I want to do I want to read

for you our passages today and um and they they are each going to feel like a disconnected passage but really are separate points supporting our main point for today so lean in hang with me as we rely on the Holy Spirit to help us understand and apply what Jesus is teaching us this morning so Luke 16 in that chapter if you remember a couple of weeks ago I skipped a verse um and I didn't skip it because it was a difficult verse to cover I skipped it because I knew it was going to have application In this passage of Luke 17 that we're looking at

today so Luke 16 ver1 18 says this everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits ad adultery and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery now I want to give you a little bit of context into first century Jesus speaking to not only his disciples but also having Pharisees um and the community at large kind of their presence leaning in to hear what he is going to say regarding marriage because what they have done is they have taken Moses giving options for divorce in the Mosaic law they've taken it and they've put it on steroids and they have basically said

if and and this is um at that time the only ones who could give a certificate of divorce were men women could not give a certificate of divorce to their husbands they were essentially enslaved in that type of relationship when it comes to their rights they had no right to be able to walk away but the men at that time could give a certificate of divorce for anything that they felt was necessary for divorce which meant that they were going to abuse that right so if you cooked a bad meal they could render you a bad wife and give you a certificate of a divorce

and so what Jesus is doing here is he's trying to take their flippancy with marriage and divorce and their lack of reverence for it and he's putting it into perspective by telling them that what you're doing in divorcing this wife to take this wife and then divorcing that wife to take another wife he's trying to to show them that all you're doing is you're trying to legalize your adultery that's what you're really trying to do here and so I'm going to come in and show you that what you're doing is just trying to legalize sleeping with whoever you want to sleep with now that's some

context for what he's dealing with now are there um permit is there any type of permissive um law for divorce I'll get to that in the application at the end so don't hear me say that it's impossible to be able to divorce somebody there there's some application to that that we'll get to but for them that was the quick thing to do and the easy thing to do was to run to divorce now hang on to that one we're going to close out with it at the end of the sermon let's look at Luke 17 verses 1-10 and he said to his disciples Temptations to

sin are sure to come but woe to to the one through whom they come it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were cast into the sea than that he should cause one of these little ones to sin pay attention to yourselves if your brother sins rebuke him and if he repents forgive him and if he sins against you seven times in the day and turns to you seven times saying I Repent you must forgive him that's what Kelsey was going to read were those two verses uh verses three and four of our passage that's what we've

been memorizing for this month verse 5 the apostles said to the Lord increase our faith and the Lord said if you had Faith Like a grain of mustard seed you could say to this mulberry tree be uprooted and planted in the sea and it would obey you verse seven will any one of you who has a servant plowing or keeping sheep say to him when he has come in from the field come at once and recline at table will he not rather say to him him prepare supper for me and dress properly and serve me while I eat and drink and afterward you will eat

and drink does he thank the servant because he did what was commanded so you also when you have done all that you were commanded say we are unworthy servants we have only done what was our duty all right so you're looking at that and you're thinking how do any of those three passages relate to this idea of healthy relationships and I want to give you three principles three teachings of Jesus that create healthy relationships that last because again 60% of marriages end in divorce those are just the facts if you happen to be single thinking thank God I'm not dealing with this yet according to

the same surveys 70% of close friendships end after seven years so not only are we bad at marriage but we're bad at friendship even worse at friendship so needless to say we we all have a relationship crisis submitting to the word of God Christ's design and teaching for relationships is our only hope it's our only hope it's all we got because if we continue with status quo if we continue with um managing and stewarding relationships based on how Society disciples us to do so is only going to increasingly sever those relationship ships ruin those relationships so there needs to be a better design there needs

to be a better way of doing things and Christ gives us a better way and so number one every relationship involves sin and an opportunity for forgiveness every relationship involves sin and an opportunity for forgiveness so look at verse one again he said to his disciples Temptations to sin are sure to come but woe to the one through whom they come it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were cast into the sea than that he should cause one of these little ones to sin well that's intense all right um but so is sin it's intense because

sin is intense what Jesus is telling his disciple here is look you are sinners Temptations to sin are going to come you can't avoid that you can't avoid the reality that the world around you is going to entice you to do what comes natural to you because you're born in Adam we were born Sinners we are born unrighteous which is why Jesus had to come in the first place like there's nothing good about us and the good had to come to us and Grant his goodness to us through his own forgiveness in order to make us good to make us holy to make us righteous

so because we were born Sinners and we grow up being discipled in sin we're we we don't have to be trained in it like you realize that like you're just good at it you're just good at it you don't have to go into the toddler room right now and hey let's teach you how to sin they they they've got it they know what to do we know what to do when it comes to this you don't need training in it you don't need teaching on it but woe to the one so again we're we're all Sinners Temptations are going to come we're fighting our flesh

we're going to be fight fighting our flesh until Glory until that comes and he's just saying you got to watch out for that but greater than that woe to the one through Whom The Temptations come it's one thing for you to sin and it's another thing for you to cause or enable others to sin Jesus gives a little parable about these kinds of sinners where he likes to spend a day on the lake with them it's the kind of scenario where two go out and only one returns two go out and one of them asks Jesus what do you plan to do with that Millstone

that's what Jesus thinks about those who cause others to sin again those who sin is one issue those who cause others to sin is something else scripture uses predatorial language for these types of people scripture calls them serpents Lions wolves dragons their desire is to destroy you and devour you and when it comes to sin Jesus has one desire eradicate it eradicate it if the person who causes others to sin is unwilling to repent unwilling to stop unwilling to turn from their Wicked Ways then Jesus says it's better for you to go tie a rock around your neck and go swimming like that's how he

views sin and The Sinner who is unwilling to repent like if you're unwilling to repent if you're unwilling to seek forgiveness from Christ which means at the end of your life you you were never willing to trust him and treasure him as Savior then your destiny is going to be hell no matter what so he's saying if you're unwilling to repent and rather continue causing others to sin then it's better for you to FasTrack your Road to Hell than for you to stay dragging others with you it's a hard truth but sin is not a soft thing and so if you feel like you are

at fault for tempting others to sin the invitation for you is to repent and believe the gospel remember a few weeks ago God loves it when a sinner repents and believes the gospel Heaven throws a party when a sinner Is Forgiven and begins following and treasuring Jesus it's the heart and character of God to forgive Sinners when they repent and believe that Jesus Paid their punishment for them and because that is the heart of God listen up it also becomes our heart as well so not only do we beware of Temptations to sin and that we're paying attention close attention to ourselves and our walk

in our life and that we're holding on to Jesus and that we're becoming more holy and less sinful and that that is the work of sanctification in our lives like we're we're we're watching ourselves but we're also making sure that we're not causing others to sin that we're not being stumbling blocks for them that we're not leading them into Temptations as well the only way that we fix those things is to repent it's to stop doing those things and to turn and Trust Christ for his forgiveness and because he forgives us when we receive that forgiveness knowing that we have sinned against him and that

we have sinned against others when we receive that forgiveness it changes our perspective when others sin against us because to whom much has been forgiven is able to then forgive is able to show forgiveness to others so this is where he goes into the next two verses verses three and four again every relationship involves sin and opportunity for forgiveness verse three pay attention to yourselves so again it's not saying pay attention to others yet pay attention to yourselves this command is for you first pay attention to yourselves if your brother sins against you rebuke him and if he repents forgive him and if he sins

against you seven times in the day and turns to you seven times in the day and says I Repent then you must forgive him here's the truth Jesus tells us to not sin to not cause others to sin and if sinned against tells them so that they can repent and you can forgive them the call here the command here is that when you are hurt when you are s against the command is for you to let them know now if they don't repent and double down and continue hurting you again that's where scripture gives us freedom to remove ourselves from those situations to remove ourselves

from those types of marriages this is where if abuse is at play abandonment is at play this is where you can walk through 1 Corinthians 7 and see so much of application when it comes to the relationship like God is a God of Peace God is a god of safety for the vulnerable if we're in that type of relationship where someone is just continuing to sin against us and we tell them we let them know and they choose to continue doing it God gives you freedom to remove yourself from the situation but if they do repent the Bible tells us and commands us to forgive

to forgive which means to stay to stay now again repentance is going to mean that there is a sorrowful acknowledgment of the sin that they caused against you the hurt that they caused against you and that repentance also means that there is going to be a striving for change in the relationship or in their actions that is going to again lead you to be able to trust that this repentance is true and genuine and therefore receiving of forgiveness receiving of forgiveness listen to Hebrews 121 14-17 when it comes to this command of forgiving strive for peace with everyone and for the Holiness without which no

one will see the Lord two things that he's calling us to strive for peace and Holiness when you think about that in regards to our passage so far Holiness don't sin Beware Of The Temptations that come your way also don't cause others to sin you are to strive for Holiness and you are also to strive for the Holiness of others and when you're able to forgive in that relationship what does it create peace peace peace see to it that no one F fails to obtain the grace of God so when when you're striving for peace and you're striving for Holiness it obtains the grace of

God that no root of bitterness Springs up and causes trouble and by it many become defiled again going back to some of the main reasons for divorce or the ending of relationships is due to a lack of commitment because the root of bitterness has come into it I'm no longer paying attention to myself but I'm paying attention to them and I don't like them anymore I'm no longer willing to commit to them I'm no longer willing to to look at their um or or to tolerate their flaws and so therefore I'm going to remove myself from the situation now think about that if we are

striving for peace and Holiness guess what won't spring up and cause trouble the root of bitterness that defiles a person if we don't deal with sin it either eats you alive or causes you to want to eat others alive and that's not the way of Christ that's not the teachings of Jesus that he has called us to observe and Obey and what happens if we let the root of bitterness defile us what if we don't strive for peace and Holiness or forgiveness and sinlessness we trade eternity for the temporary in Hebrews 12:15 it says see to it that no one fails to obtain the grace

of God that no root of bitterness Springs up and causes trouble and it may or and by it many become defiled that no one is sexually immoral or Unholy like Esau who sold his Birthright for a single meal for you know that afterward when he desired to inherit the blessing he was rejected for he found no chance to repent though he sought it with tears see Esau was not willing to pursue Holiness but rather sexual immorality in his own sin and in defiling himself through a root of bitterness he exchanged what was going to be an inheritance for a single meal and that's exactly what

we do when we're not willing to deal with our sin we exchange an eternity for something temporary and unfortunately that's the mindset that many have in marriages is that I'm not willing to look for what's lasting but rather what is immediate and for those unwilling to repent there comes a day when it's too late and the door is shut we covered that a couple of months ago so we need to listen we are not command commanded to sin but rather we are commanded to strive for peace and Holiness don't give up your Eternity for something temporary so if we are commanded to strive for peace

with everyone what do we do when they sin against us I was at a conference this past week and Brian Lett said don't you just wish sometimes that God would turn his back so that you could just punch someone in the throat who hurt you like I mean this let's be honest like we would love that like just give me like a couple just turn around and just let me let me do this sometimes I think it would be helpful if Christianity had an amendment to the turn the other cheek principle where we could just punch someone in the throat but we can't we are

not commanded to enact Vengeance vengeance is the Lord's the truth is if we could punch people who sin against us then you would be punched much more than you get to punch that's just the truth so we aren't commanded to retaliate and enact Vengeance but rather we are commanded to forgive that's the Commandment let me just say that again we are commanded to forgive for starters that's what a good disciple does remember the order of the Great Commission go and make disciples of all Nations baptizing them in the name of the father and the Son and the Holy Spirit teaching them to observe which is

another word for keep and Obey all that Jesus has commanded us so it's not just go and make converts go and make people who now believe in Jesus and trust in Jesus but don't know what Jesus has commanded them to do in their life and to live out in their life we need to know what he has commanded us and here he is commanding us that when someone hurts you and you call them out on it if they repent we are commanded to forgive them not to hold it against them not to hold it over their heads not to keep a record of wrongs but

to forgive them in his book forgive why should I and how can I Tim Keller shows us that the key to grasping forgiveness on a human level is to ground it in God's forgiveness available through Christ's cross now let's just think about forgiveness for a moment what is it and what does it require of you when you look at social media forgiveness is all but a foreign concept as Matt Smothers of the Gospel Coalition says we are in an age where everything is permitted and nothing is Forgiven in other words you can do whatever you want but if what you want to do is not

what I find acceptable then you're dead to me and you're cancelled you can do whatever you want so long as what you want to do do is in line with what I want you to do that's our culture and I'll be honest it's not a bad philosophy it's just the only problem is there's only one person in his in history who can save that and it's Jesus Jesus says you can do whatever you want to do so long as whatever you do is in line with what I want you to do no no one else can say that but regardless our cancel culture does not

allow for rebuke and correction either so if we don't push back if we don't show another way then what our society is discipling us and our children in is that when someone hurts you upsets you sins against you disagrees with you what is acceptable is to cancel them without explanation or conversation there's no room for reconciliation we're going to continue being a divided culture that does not know how to relate anymore does not know how to be friends anymore you don't have a friend that you agree with on everything like I'll say it is he Travis yeah Travis is in the room I love Travis

Travis is one of my closest friends he drives a Dodge and I think it's an abomination I'm sorry but Jesus Is providing a better way for us if you go to the one who has hurt you and rebuke them and correct them and tell them hey and and and here's also something that we heard this week part of the problem is we just don't know how to do this we don't know how to go to someone that has maybe said something that's offended us or hurt us or disagreed with us or we see them in sin we see them post something that we're like I

don't know that I would have posted that we don't know how to go to someone and say hey I this might be awkward this might be a hard conversation this might be a difficult conversation but I think you're out of Step here and provide evidence for why you think they're out of Step don't just let it be subjective give some object of truth to it but that's the most loving thing that you can do to a person Society is going and culture is going to tell you that that's hate speech but it's what the Bible tells us rebuke them rebuke them in a loving way

hey this and again this is where we just maybe practi practice it with a close friend and say like let's start with something small like driving a Dodge let's start with something that hey I just think this is going to be awkward but I want to help you out because I love you and I care for you and I just think like this is out of step and so I want to work through this because again I'm for you I'm not against you we just don't know how to do that as as a culture the more we do it the more we get better at

it and and here's the beauty is that in that Rel relationship whether it's a close friendship or in a marriage relationship the more that you interact with one another and um he used to be one of our worship leaders for for a long time in our church and I'll say his name Jordan so Jordan and I used to have this rule of thumb where it was like we either had number ones or number twos number ones were going to be like things of encouragement and number twos were like hey I got a number two and it's like and number two meant to be number two

it's like this is going to be crappy but I need to say something to you and it was a way that built and fostered relationship ship because we knew what we were coming to one another with and so like we need to have that type of mentality with one another when it comes to this idea how do we pursue one another to rebuke them and correct them in order for them to repent and turn and and receive forgiveness and as it says how often do we do that well if they're repenting seven times in a day seven times another passage what does it say seven

times 70 when you look at Christ how often is Christ forgiving us when you look at that relationship between the groom and the bride who's the crazy one and how often is the groom saying I'm forgiving you I'm forgiving you that's the mentality we need to have when it comes to forgiveness I need to move on because I that was point one point two every relationship relies on faith for Success so think about it in regards to the disciples receiving those first four verses that's difficult Jesus like that's impossible how am I to forgive those who have sinned against me seven times in a day

you know how annoying that would be the Apostle said to the Lord increase our faith appropriate response increase our faith and the Lord said if you had Faith Like a grain of mustard seed you could say to this mberry tree be uprooted and planted in the sea and it would obey you what he's saying there is you have the faith apply the faith but it's good for you to ask for it to be increased because how difficult this is why is it when Jesus gives them a hard truth they respond saying increase our faith well simply put because they know that for us to be

successful in obedience to Jesus it must rely on faith that's why Hebrews 11 was written to show you that all of these historical and celebrated biblical Heroes were only able to do what they did on the foundation of Faith Hebrews 11:5 says it was by faith Enoch um pleased God and was taken up by God without experiencing death Hebrews 11:7 says it was by faith Noah constructed the ark out of a reverent fear for God Hebrews 11:8 says it was by faith Abraham he he left all his familiarity to follow God to a place that he did not know it was by faith that both

Abraham and Sarah who were uh Barren unable to have children had a child were able to do that because of the work of God in their lives Hebrews 11:29 says it was by faith Moses led the people out of Egypt and crossed the Red Sea on dry land why did they write all of that it was to show that we don't celebrate them and say good job look how awesome and amazing they were no it was them not having any ability of their own saying we trust that God has all the authority and all the power to accomplish whatever it is that he asks of

us and so we have faith in him that whatever he calls us and commands us to do that he will give us the ability to be able to do it so if he is commanding us to forgive those who sin against you if they repent then we are trusting him to give us the faith to be able to actually enact it because if we just do it from a human perspective then what are we going to going to do sever the relationship fight or flight I'm going to remove myself from the situation you're no longer a good friend to me you hurt me what's easy

is to remove and walk away what's hard is to trust God in his ability by faith to grant us the ability to forgive that's the hard work and that's why Hebrews 11:1 says now Faith is the Assurance of things hoped for the conviction of Things Not Seen we hope for this we have a conviction of this we're trusting Christ for this so that he gives us assurance that if we forgive what is ultimately produced is reconciliation because that's what we've experienced and witnessed in our reconciliation with him again the reason why marriages and friendships fall or fail is because they don't utilize the faith God

has given them to endure the suffering and commit to one another in the trials they don't rely on the faith that gives you the ability to give and receive forgiveness every single day we need to be praying for God to increase our faith in our marriages and friendships so that when it gets hard and the grass looks greener on the other side we aren't tempted to sin but rather we endure for the sake of Christ and his reconciling work in our lives and so let's do something for a moment here's what I want to do let's pause and let's pray for God to increase our

faith in our marriages in our friendships in our relationships because that's the main source for determining whether or not our relationships will Thrive or die so here's what I want you do I want you to turn to someone next to you and I want you to pray for this we put some pads on or something I don't care let's just let's just turn to one another and take a moment and pray that God would increase your faith so that if you're married that your your your marriage will Thrive because of this principle if you have friendships that are are uh difficult or not difficult whatever

but you we've all got friendships that he would increase our faith so that we trust him in what he's doing in that relationship so that it's consistently being reconciled so turn to one another let's take a few minutes let's pray e e e e e e father I want to lift up each person in this room that we would be the kind of spouses or friends that are gracious merciful peaceful holy edifying and forg giving pray that you increase our faith to be just that it's in Jesus name we pray amen all right I got five minutes for the last point every relationship endures when

humility is our posture every relationship endures when humility is our posture look at the last Parable here verse seven will any one of you who has a servant plowing or keeping sheep say to him when he has come in from the field come at once and recline at table will he not rather say to him prepare supper for me and dress properly and serve me while I eat and drink and afterward you will eat and drink does he thank the servant because he did what was commanded so you also when you have done all that you were commanded say we are unworthy servants we have

only done what was our duty what he's getting at there is is in the relationship of a servant to his master the master doesn't when when when the servant comes in from the field doing the work the servant doesn't come in and say hey I'm going to sit down I'm going to go ahead and just eat with you and I'm going to go ahead and enjoy everything because I have I deserve a spot at this table but rather the master says no come in like continue doing your job like your job is that I've hired you is to is to cook the meal and to

prepare it and to serve me while I eat and drink and then after your job is done then you sit down and you eat and drink and because your job is done he said don't don't be prideful about your job don't be prideful about your position rather when you're all done like just say I'm thankful to have a job like I'm I'm an unworthy servant in this regard don't put yourself in a position that you're not deserving of what he's getting at here is that we are servant of Christ that are to have a posture of we're unworthy we're unworthy servants like we're we're grateful

to be here we're serving you Christ but we're not pretending that we like deserve a seat at your table as well no no no we're we're serving you because of all that you've done for us I mean Jesus Paid It all all to him I owe and so I want to have a a humble posture when I come before him because of what he has done for me and also that he has then employed me in the same Ministry of reconciliation of taking the gospel out again it's it's even taking the gospel out and not having this position of look at us look how awesome

we are but rather having a posture of I'm just grateful I'm just grateful to be here I'm grateful to be here as Brothers and Sisters in Christ a part of the local and Global Church which is the bride of Christ in Christ her groom we need to look at and treat each other as if they were the only bride of Christ here's what I mean by that this means with the utmost respect and honor and selflessness I also heard this week and and I've said it before John the Baptist was pleased to get out of the way for Jesus to shine because John knew his

place John knew he wasn't building a platform for his own namesake he wasn't becoming a celebrity preacher so that when he was thrown in prison he could call on some favors at the end of the day he knew that Jesus must increase and he must decrease Brian litz talked this week about officiating weddings and I've had the opportunity to officiate lots of weddings and he used this analogy um at the moment when the wedding is is just about to start and the doors open and it's like everyone is focusing on this moment everyone stands and Rises and um and I always get like kind of

the best seat of the House of getting to see all that is happening but the doors open and and she walks in and when she walks in I mean it's just it's like the glory moment you know and then everyone also then turned their attention to the groom and they're watching the groom and hopefully he's crying you know like he's balling his eyes out in this moment um as they're just gazing at one another and like in that moment it's it's all about this this coming together of the Bride in the groom and Brian litz in his analogy said how awkward would it be if

the best man was like like winking at the bride as she's coming down like how awkward would it be if the best man who's meant to support the wedding and make sure everything is going the way that it's supposed to be going is trying to come in center of attention and getting everyone else to look at him and see how awesome he is and everything that he's done like John the Baptist being the best man to Jesus is ultimately saying I must decrease he must increase it's a spirit of humility that we have where we want to be in the shadows of of of the

Union between Christ and others now apply that to your relationship when you think about the other person that you're in relationship with that your purpose is to consider their interests so that they shine in their Union with Christ and that you decrease in the background humility humility it's it's not us posturing ourselves to be something that we're not in the situation this is considering the interest of others so that we're not doing anything in the relationship out of selfish ambition or conceit and this is why I think Paul said in Philippians 2 3-8 we are commanded to be like Jesus when it says do nothing

from selfish ambition or conceit but in humility count others more significant than yourselves Let each of you look not only to his own interest but also to the interest of others have this mind among yourselves which is yours in Christ Jesus who though he was in the form of God did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped but emptied himself by taking the form of a servant being born in the likeness of man and being found in human form he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death even death on a cross now dream for a moment here how might

your relationship ships be different if we had that mindset how might our marriages be different if we applied that mindset how might our friendships be different if we're instead of using people for our gain we empty ourselves for their gain and so then it comes back to Luke 168 everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery what he's getting there is the original design was for a man and a woman to come together and not to let anything destroy that that it is a commitment and a covenant till death do his

part and what our society and culture has allowed or brought in what we've allowed to come in is that we've shifted the mindset of it's okay to sin against others it's okay to um wrong others it's okay to do those things and retaliate on others if what they are doing is harming you hurting you sinning against you we don't think we're the problem in the situation we think they're the problem in the situation and so it's certificate of divorce or you can no longer be my friend when we got to remember the whole point of the Gospel was God sending Jesus to pursue those who

have harmed him hurt him sinned against him who ring our fists at God and say that he's an idiot and that we're smart look at what Christ again the Holy One and the one sinned against did for his bride the church and the people of God who have committed adultery against him in all kinds of idolatry it reminds me of Hosea the prophet marrying a prostitute or Boaz marrying Ruth a moabit they are all pictures of God bringing the church to Christ an Unholy one to the Holy One and then through the death of Jesus reconciling them so that he is making his bride wear

the garments that are wide as snow being found in human form he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death even death death on a cross can you imagine those vows at the altar instead of till death do we part Jesus says to you I'm going to die for you and through my death our marriage starts let's pray together father we thank you for your pursuit of us as Sinners who